Wednesday, August 07, 2013

JUST BECAUSE I DON'T MENTION HER NAME IT DOESN'T MEAN SHE ISN'T THERE



When I told the Old Lady I was depressed
she gave me a copy of Douglas Fairbanks’
THE IRON MASK

It is a silent film and the Three Musketeers 
ride again and it may contain graphic violence
and it is digitally remastered.

There’s good ol’ Douglas Fairbanks
which means nothing to anyone
who doesn’t know Douglas Fairbanks

So let me paint you a picture:

There’s good ol’ Douglas Fairbanks
with a tiny moustache and shoulder length
chestnut brown hair, smiling with head cocked
back and a forest green tight vest open to the nipple
area with one hand cocked on his velveteen pantaloons
and they other resting on his saber, slender and confident as
the swashbuckling D’artagnan, at the ready to rescue the real
King Louis XIV, imprisoned by his brother and destined to live
out the rest of his days in a dark dungeon wearing an impenetrable
iron mask to conceal his true identity: ta dah! the king of damn France!

Now if were Douglas Fairbanks

I wouldn’t bother with any of this I would just get on a super fast amphibious motorcar and go back home to Hollywood from France and give deelish Mary Pickford a big kiss.  She was sweet as pie and more fun than iron masks or motorcars or pie. Douglas Fairbanks, what is your schtick? I can't mentalize your brain-thoughts. I mean, really, what is going on with you? Why do some people have problems? I don’t have these problems and I am glad.

Thank you, Old Lady, I feel less depressed now.

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