Friday, July 31, 2015


I watched a man insert a quarter into a block of dry ice. The quarter shook and shook like it was in terrible pain as it went through the process of sublimation. I hope that I am not a quarter someday, and that some man doesn’t touch me and do terrible things with me this way,  but if I am, I hope he just takes me out of his pocket and spends me, since I am a quarter, for a Coca-Cola or a perhaps a bag of chips, for this is what I was meant for.

Wednesday, July 29, 2015


A movie about a piano tuner of earthquakes.

Something like “Inside the Cosmos” or “Inter-Cosmos” or “Enter the Cosmos”  (I don’t speak German.)

Something about a woman with hungry eyes (who wears a metal snake bra.)

Something like “The Women of the Woods” or “Les Trees of Boulogne” (a place in France?) (I don’t speak French.)

The Terrible Infants. (That one was really easy even though it was in French.)

Santa Claus (in Mexico where he goes on vacation and meets Merlin the Wizard  and there’s a magic sleeping powder and everyone hates Santa Claus everywhere but hopefully Merlin will help him probably with the magic sleeping powder.)

A movie about Marlon Brando (something about his method conundrum.) Handsome!

A big-boned lesbian leader of a She-Mob who wears a cone bra (another movie with bras.)

A movie about Alcofibras who makes a woman appear in a goblet and they stroll through the beautiful fake woods in 1903.

A movie about having no breath and being in love in France and being really beautiful and dashing.

A movie about killing Joan of Arc because she made someone angry even though she was pretty.

When I was little they said that computers would be smarter than me. I think they are now.

know I rely upon them for everything, from plane fares to Utah to making the perfect piece of toast.

Why should I see these movies? I wish the computer would tell me. But instead it’s as quiet as a mouse. 

Tuesday, July 28, 2015


If you are a lemon there are so many things 
that can happen to you. Including laceration on the rim 
of an ice-cold martini. Or having your skin scraped off 
and put into a tangy vinaigrette. But you might also fly 
in an airplane to an interesting place.
And end up in a beautiful refrigerator in Norway.
You can fall in love with anybody you want.
Here or there, anywhere, dead or alive.

But that’s true of everything.
I own two dachshunds for instance.
Sometimes I pretend I am going to ear their food.


I hadn’t watered them in a week 
because my job was crazy-busy
but I did water them last night 
after I decided to quit my job

I just went up to my boss this AM 
and said, “I quit, boss!” 
just like they did in the movies
and I took the trolley home, the kind 
they also used to have 
in movies 
they were black and yellow

and then just loafed around 
the apartment house until 
I remembered ... 
my basil plants! My damn

basil plants! I was about to water 
them but then I remembered 
that you should only water them
right as the sun begins to set, 
a friend of mine told me that, 

and I have many basil plants 
so I just waited 

and just as the sun began to set 
and before Gunsmoke was on 

(this happened in about 1958 
when Matt Dillon was still alive 
and the sheriff on Gunsmoke)

I watered my basil plants and 
then went to bed after reading 
the morning papers

(there were morning papers and 
evening papers in 1958 and kids 
on bicycles threw them on your lawns) 

I wasn’t sure when a good time 
to look at basil plants might be 

(my friend was gone, after all 
this all happened in 1958) 

but it seemed to me that the early morning 
would be best even though I had no reason 
other than that to get up 

(but what could be more important than 
looking at a freshly revived basil plant 
behind your apartment as the sun begins 
to rise and you have nowhere to go?)

Why do people have basil plants 
when they have apartments ?

Well I think it is because they want 
to feel like they have homes

This was true in 1958 
and it is even truer now

(in 1959 and 1960 and 
so forth and so on)

that’s not
the important thing

The important thing is
that I quit my job
and that I have
basil plants
and the sun
will soon rise
and soon
I will see them

Wednesday, July 22, 2015


Yesterday it will be two years since we lost one of gentlest of souls on earth. It really should be easier over time, but I think at times that sorrow continues to burrow until it hits the bone.

I love you, Faye. I miss you every single awful day.

Tuesday, July 21, 2015


The first time I drank Iced Tea it was Iced Coffee. I had run three miles cross country and I walked into the dining hall hot and thirsty and wanting Iced Tea. I was very young, so even though I was warm and tired I was healthy and filled with energy. I poured a glass of Iced Tea from the silver beverage dispenser and took a sip and spat it out and said ‘That’s Iced Tea’?? And someone said 

No, that’s Iced Coffee. Someone older and smarter who realized I was young and thirsty and hot and filled with energy but stupid about almost everything and inexperienced too but this person was patient and wise and understood that someday I would be wise and relaxed and reflective and patient and contain no energy whatsoever and so they smiled at me as I stood there with a glass of Iced Coffee that I was spitting out everywhere and they gazed upon my visage with great understanding and affection and compassion and concern and yet in spite of this poignant memory I completely forget who that great person was and if it was a man or a woman and if it was a man if he had furry eyebrows and if it was a woman if she was nice looking or whether it was something in between who was somewhat nondescript and that’s that. That’s how old I am now.

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

I have often speculated on the nature of heaven, and this time is no exception: I am walking into a movie theatre. Outside is a beautiful marquee, and there is a gentle breeze. They are showing a movie I love, and this will be the 100th time I have seen it. The popcorn looks delicious and fresh, nay, is delicious, and fresh, and of course, I am dead: you have to be dead to get into heaven. Admission is $5, if you go in the afternoons. I will go again, one hundred times more.

Sunday, July 05, 2015

There must be a machine that extracts sentences in the dictionary that illustrate the meaning of words and then takes those sentences and recombines them into a story that is sequential and logical  and beautiful – beautiful because it makes you smile and makes you cry and you will love it and hate it and you will think it is wonderful but also it is quite terrible because it has all the words in the world in it and that’s what all the words in the world will do to you when combined in a sequential and logical way that is sometimes beautiful.


They say the best time to love is when you have no time to love, and so you will simply think something wonderful worth loving, that really should be loved but simply cannot be, for there is no time, there is no time at all, for it’s time now to make an apple pie.

Friday, July 03, 2015


There are six different shades of mauve.
There are two examples of mauve in a sentence:
The village houses are done up in pale gray and mauve and preside over lawns so neat and green they look like carpeting.
Wool lace blouses with dolman sleeves topped slim matching skirts in shades of pea green and mauve.
Mauve comes from Ancient Rome.
You can say ‘mallow’ if you like. Like ‘Mallo Cup’ with marshmallow filling inside.
You can say ‘malva’ if you like.
You can do anything you want with the word mauve.
If you will please marry me.

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