A NEW COVER FOR I CHING & BEE STINGS

I CHING & BEE STINGS is a piece that I began about four years ago when I finally broke down and bought the AMERICANIZED ENCYCLOPEDIA BRITANNICA REVISED AND AMENDED 1892.

It was quite a deal I think (about $20) and it's very comforting to own, because it makes you think that maybe we are all remembered if not in the sight of God, at least under the watchful eye of whoever wrote the AEB and I bet it was a whole lot of people who did and even more people of whom are writ. In fact there are SO many people in the AEB that it is sometimes comforting to sit up in bed and read the biographical frontispiece* with all the great entries like THOMAS SAY and RT. HON. M.P. ARTHUR JAMES BALFOUR and JUSTO RUFINO BARRIOS and such; all collected for all eternity, even though the covers–big leather ones–break eventually. No matter! There they are–naked, happy and love and without a leather cover at all.

The day I bought this AEB was truly an exciting day, and the minute I first got their hefty rumps** home I delved into the people and places and things and became so amazingly giddy and lost and asthmatic that I decided I had to do something with it: why not write a condensed AEB, revised and amended (again) for everybody now? It seemed simple enough: all I had to do was selected one entry at random from each letter in the alphabet, read the entry once or twice, drink a soothing draught of something (I like grape soda when it is made in Vermont) and then retell the story to the best of my ability in about one hundred words or so.

I will, I said to myself, Do it! And I did! It was thrilling!***

I guess I should discuss now for a little bit why I abandoned the whole thing. Well, I didn't really – I got through most of the alphabet except O, S, Y and Z and then stopped and began to write THE AGE OF ANXIETY for I guess what you might say are obvious reasons (although I had also taken a plane ride to the midwest at this juncture as well, so either reason seems legit to me.) Still, even four shy of an alphabet, I think of I CHING & BEE STINGS fondly, and do plan on finishing it soon, especially since I have this terrific new cover designed by V. Eugene Craddock. It cries out for O,S, Y and Z and I sincerely plan to deliver. If I can. Soon. I hope, maybe. No, definitely. I can't wait.

In the meantime, here is a ditty from the 2004 version that began as an "H" for "Henry I" and ended as an "L" for "Lamprey."



Yours devotedly,

Crispy


* It's not a real 'frontispiece' because there is no illustration there and it's in the wrong place anyway but I do love writing or saying the word 'frontispiece' when it is applicable if even only in the most generous and forgiving of definitions.

** It's 10 volumes long, and that great leather exterior and that also great reptilian interior cover work that would look very much at home in Jim Morrison's house, or perhaps even on his bedsheets or stationery. That is, if Jim Morrison had any of those things, which I couldn't really say if he did or not – other than the song PEACE FROG, I am not a fan. And what I like most about PEACE FROG is that he mentions New Haven, and it sounds pretty darn rockin', which I don't remember it being, the one time I went there.

*** Thrilling is the work of David Foster Wallace – this footnote is in his honor, and in honor of all of his footnotes. God Bless Mr. Wallace.



Hall artwork, including handsome monsters but not crinkly devilish types,
® mr. crispy flotilla, 2008