EUGENICS

I met a girl named Eugene and I asked here is she would like to
kiss me and she said she would. I leaned towards here, and she
put a small mirror between us. I kissed the mirror, which of
course meant I was kissing me. There was so much of Eugene
in the mirror that I thought, with all modesty, that I was delicious.
“Nice try, mi cupcake dolce,” she said. I agreed that she was
mi cupcake dolce as well, and leaned over to kiss her again,
the usual way. Suddenly she thrusted a 2 x 4 knotty pine wood board
between us; I kissed the board. Eugene laughed: “I love you, you
thoughtless perfect creature of the night” but I wasn’t, in all
honestly, and I knew that by kissing the 2 x 4 knotty pine wood
board that I was kissing our life together: the beautiful ranch
house were surely we would someday live, which would in
all likelihood be built of knotty pine wood. But what if it were
to burn to the ground? Surely, knotty pine wood burns to the ground.
I leaned over to kiss Eugene, my protective kiss to insulate: her lips
were warm and moist. But they weren’t her lips at all! She had ignited
a butane lighter and held it to my own delicious, warm and moist lips–
the ones in the mirror and knotty wood–and suddenly my world was
aflame! My passion was amok! Compared to me, en flambè, everybody
in the world was a creature of the night: living in pine, loving the little
reflection, burning with eternal love to the sparkling ground.

all artwork, including monsters but not old timey photographs,
® mr. crispy flotilla, 2007