Friday, January 22, 2010

WISDOM


PEER PRESSURE
from Larry Mondello
“Leave It To Beaver”
Season 1, Episode 37

When Larry says: “GEE, if we always did what your father told us to do, we would never have any fun,” please consult ‘Parental Advice’ below.


PARENTAL ADVICE
from Ward Cleaver
“Leave It To Beaver”
Season 1, Episode 37

Don’t use my power tools, especially when I go to the hardware store to buy clamps to make a checkers table for you boys and I am only gone for a few minutes. And if Larry comes over while I am gone and says something like: GEE, If We Always Did What Your Father Told Us To Do, We Would Never Have Any Fun, do not drill a whole through the garage so big that you can see your mother through the hole coming to announce Lunch Is Ready And It Is Tuna Fish Today For Lunch. It will be your fault and not Larry’s if you do, even though Larry did it and has run home by now because he knew that it was his fault as far as I am concerned it is your fault because I warned you many times: do NOT use my power tools.


ADVICE FOR LARRY
from ‘A Concerned Viewer’
“Leave It To Beaver”
Season 1, Episode 37

Larry: if you want to stay for lunch at the Cleavers, do not drill holes in Mr. Cleaver’s garage with Mr. Cleaver’s power drill while you are horsing around in the garage, for you do want to stay for lunch, for tuna fish will be served, and tuna fish is your favorite lunch, above and beyond all other lunches.


CHILD RAISING ADVICE
from Wally Cleaver
“Leave It To Beaver”
Season 1, Episode 37

When your child runs threatens to run away from home, sock him. If he runs away anyway, tell him you don’t want him to, otherwise he will run away and not come back because coming back will make him feel like a creep.


REFLECTIONS ON LEAVING HOME
from Theodore Cleaver
“Leave It To Beaver”
Season 1, Episode 37

When packing your bindle stick, be sure to include a bag of marbles, in case you meet other hobos and you want to play marbles with them.


A MOTHER’S LOVE
from June Cleaver
“Leave It To Beaver”
Season 1, Episode 37

“I don’t care what the Beaver did, I just want my little boy back.”

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