IS THAT YOU, CRISPY?

People often ask: is that really you in the picture, Crispy? And I say, no, not really. First of all, I never
wear blue turtlenecks, although I would be lying if I said I never wore blue mock turtlenecks. Secondly,
I have a moustache, which I shaved off. (Look for a tan line where a moustache would be: you won’t find one!) Thirdly, and most importantly, you can tell that isn’t my handwriting, nor is it my pen, because it looks like a Mont Blanc. I would really love a Mont Blanc. How many times do I have to drop that hint at parties and in poems and waiting for the bus? Gee, a Mont Blanc would come in handy right now, I seem to say all the time. Oh well. Even my “Ode to Unrequited Longing for a Mont Blanc” didn’t do a thing for me, Mont-Blanc-wise. All my pens are from the Far East and they look like tiny torpedos from World WarTwo. FWISSHHHWOOSSSH KABOOM!!! Oh: one more thing: I don’t know what’s the matter with that wallpaper, but I don’t think that I could ever write anything sensible and look content if that wallpaper was near me. I also don’t think I am good at looking content and I never have a tan like whoever this guy is because, my friends tell me, I fear the God Apollo . As if! I mean, Sometimes I don’t even think Apollo exists! Whoever this man is, I think he believes just the opposite, very content, and never sweaty. Still, I don’t care how superior this guy is to me, I don’t understand the boy scout cap at all. It doesn’t match his sweater. I have to say, though, now that I look at it a little, his sweater does look just like mine. Could it be... could it be...my hero? OK, my hero!