Thursday, October 07, 2010

THE THIRD STEP


THE THIRD STEP

I keep a copy of Michael Chabon’s WEREWOLVES IN THEIR YOUTH on the third step of the staircase on the way to the bedroom.

Sometimes the cover is dusty, although I try to vacuum the stairs once a month.

Michael Chabon is exceedingly handsome; and it is true that he is from Pittsburgh.

I generally walk down the stairs completely before I put on my glasses, and the third step is often a doozy.

Sometimes I don’t know why I do what I do.

I thought of placing the book at a 90 degree angle, but I felt that it would look awkward to incoming guests when the door opens and they see the third step of the staircase.

Still, a 90 degree angle would assure greater visibility of WEREWOLVES IN THEIR YOUTH while walking upstairs, and more importantly, downstairs.

Although many of Michael Chabon’s titles are difficult to remember, they are fun to recite once you have committed them to memory.

For example: THE AMAZING ADVENTURES OF KAVALIER AND CLAY; THE YIDDISH POLICEMAN’S UNION, etc.

DIE GEHEIMNISSE VON PITTSBURGH, CHICOS PRODIGIOSOS, etc.

It is better to have a book places askew than to have invited guests taking you to the hospital--or the morgue!

It is true, don’t you agree, Michael Chabon’s wife loves him more than their 4 children but then again maybe I am interpreting this 2 literally.

After all, hasn’t Michael Chabon written 4 books?

Do I not have an apartment--without a staircase?

Since when have I enjoyed housework, stairs, falling down, hospitals, morgues, language, etc.?

I can’t help it: I try to write “I haven’t” and I keep writing “I handsome.”

It’s not me, of course. It’s Michael Chabon. Those smoldering blue eyes. That French Kiss tongue.

If I were an author, and my book was translated into another language, that would be the end of my life in a good way.

LES EXTRAORDINAIRES AVENTURES DE KAVALIER & CLAY.

I would say, “Put me in a time capsule and then shoot the time capsule” and then of course “Bury the time capsule” after that.

Etc.

CHICOS PRODIGIOSOS.

I am committing this to print as we speak. This book, whether it is dusty or married, that’s up to you. I like “married.”

"Etc." is my abbreviation for "Eternity."

SUMMERLAND, why, there’s another. Book, I mean.

Then again, you can’t take things too literally these days. For example, when I say “Michael Chabon”--what do I really mean?

I would like it if you knew, but I will be happy to matter what.

And what about “book”?

What about “handsome”?

How about it, handsome?

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