Friday, October 31, 2008

NATIVE AMERICAN BEES PARTOOK OF THIS SPECTACLE WITH GREAT CONSTERNATION

Did you know that when Columbus failed to find land, his sailors embarked upon a mutiny? It’s true. Luckily for us, Columbus soothed his crew with a gently flowing cascade of words that rolled out of his mouth like honey. And when they finally reached land, the words began to float in the air, very unhoney like, until they finally and slowly drifted to the ground, catching the slight currents that would hold them momentarily aloft as though they were suspended by little beeswax parachutes.

Nearby, Native American Bees partook of this spectacle with great consternation and no bemusement whatsoever.

Honey is a sacred thing.

But so is laughter.

To wit: there is nothing more funny than watching Milton Berle do his borscht belt schtick. A man wearing a housedress and lipstick and smoking a cigar? Hilarious, almost holy.

Laughter is sweet.

As is honey.

Laughter is less sweet than honey.

Laughter is approximately as sweet as a 3 Musketeers Bar.

Now, let us return to honey.

No. Let’s return to Columbus.

How did Columbus do it?

We'll never know.

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