Dear Mr. President,

With this notice I am formally announcing my intention to rule the road in flashing style. That’s right! I am about to purchase a Dodge Lancer, or, if you prefer, " Dodge” a modern automobile noted for its ability to appear like a streak of light across the Bonneville Salt Flats, blazing a trail of world records. I know what you are thinking: I don’t live in the Bonneville Salt Flats: that’s true–who does? I don’t think anybody does–it is very hot and salty there. Nevertheless, I intend to drive my Dodge to the Bonneville Salt Flats in order to execute a streak of light across them, “swiftness,” as Mr. Dodge used to say, “sculptured in steel.” I know what you are thinking: shouldn’t it be ‘sculpted’ in steel? I don’t care! Mr. Dodge said ‘sculptured’ and that’s good enough for me, and good enough for my pregnant wife who cries all the time. But just wait til we get to the Bonneville Salt Flats! She and my child, or whatever, will thrill to the magic touch of push button driving, the matchless ease of handling, and the solid feel of big car weight and brawn. Kind of hard to cry in the desert, too–I read an article about it in POPULAR MECHANICS. Has something to do with the barometric pressure and the rotational position of the earth. And besides, when you are blazing a trail of swiftness, sculptured in steel in flashing style–you can forget it. There will be no crying. No sir. There will only be a Lancer and the solid feel of the value leader of the forward look. That’s it. Me, my wife, a baby or two, that solid feel, and the sky.

Sincerely yours,

Anuncio del Torres Huevos
Puerto de Puertos, Florida

all artwork, including monsters but not old timey photographs,
® mr. crispy flotilla, 2007


Anonymous said…
Dear Anuncio,

I apologize but I could not help laughing about your "Announcement".

Where is it that you live? Would that be in the pan handle?

Most importantly, will you be stopping in San Antonio on the way?


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