Sunday, August 26, 2012

TARSIER


sounds so french 

it’s really from asia

it jumps from tree to tree

it eats the meat of insects

can you imagine being an insect,

playing cards or something,


and suddenly there is this tarsier right there?

the tarsier eye is as large as its brain

it likes to go out at night
and is oh so furry 

they are a number of things that make this tiny primate 
interesting but just when you start to think like a scientist 
you see his cute little pink nose

you don’t hear his scream as he jumps towards you

but make no mistake: 
it jumps towards you
if you are made of meat

try to make a tarsier apologize 
it's impossible

just plain impossible

but that's not the point of tarsiers



Friday, August 17, 2012


Penguins love to stay together.

This is the Phil Wood Bottom Bracket that holds your pedals in place in the bottom bracket shell (of course) of your bicycle. The problem is, once the bottom bracket is inserted in the bottom bracket shell, you no longer see the bottom bracket. I, for one, would love to see the word "Phil" in red every time I turned the pedals. It's easy to turn the pedals 80-100 times a minute and so you probably would only see Phil once or twice as you began to ride. As you end your ride, you wouldn't see any Phil at all, just a sort of red blur, but then right towards the end you would see PhilPhilPhilPhilPhilPhilPhil and then Phil Phil Phil Phil and then  Phil  Phil  Phil  and then Phil      Phil    and then you would stop and guess who would be waiting for you? That's right: Phil.

Thursday, August 02, 2012

POOF POP


The Poof Pop: a kind of lollipop that’s braided. It curls inward like a snake that is sleeping, only it’s braided, which snakes are not, unless they are Poof Pops. 
Imagine having the life squeezed out of you by a Poof Pop. The braids are yellow, pink and white. The ribbons on its neck are sky blue and royal purple. “Snake!” You exclaim, towards a Poof Pop.
But you say that snakes don’t have necks. This is true. But I only said that the Poof Pop is curls inward, in a concentric fashion, like a snake. Yellow, pink, white. Sky blue, royal purple.
Having the life squeezed out of you by it is something you can imagine. Your days are free and you can think about it all day. At dinner you can eat something sweet. Soon you will be gasping for life.
The Poof Pop costs $2.99. Snakes probably cost thousands of dollars. They aren’t sweet, snakes. Why do people spend so much money when they are alive? On things?
Why don’t people spend no money and just eat things that are sweet for dinner? For example: stolen Poof Pops.

I BLAME THE TOTEM POLE





I am standing outside of Walker’s Soda Fountain taking a picture of Walker’s Soda Fountain’s window. Walker’s Soda Fountain understands beautiful autumn flowers and hot dogs with relish and mustard and banana splits and chocolate milk shakes with whipped cream and maraschino cherries on top.
Behind these delicious foods stands a totem pole filled with angry faces. I blame the totem pole entirely for holding the painter’s hand like a marionette’s and placing the “I” before the “A” in “Fountain.” Here it is: WALKER’S SODA FOUNTIAN. 

I blame the totem pole. But do I have to blame the totem pole for everything? I don’t want to blame him for hot dogs and milk shakes and banana splits - I want to thank his angry faces for them. I love you, I hate you, is something that you find yourself saying quite a bit in this town, but it’s best not to think about that too much. The food is delicious if you don’t think about it too much. So are the angry faces. Delicious.
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