TONY

I have a cardboard fold-out of Tony Bennett in my office because he’s my favorite singer in the whole world. It isn’t “life size” – it is “almost life size.” My cardboard Tony Bennett is approximately 5’ 1” tall. Why did they decide to make Tony Bennett a little smaller than he actually is? How much more would it have cost to make a 6’ 0” Tony Bennett? He is the greatest singer in the world, after all. Maybe a 12 foot Tony Bennett. But my ceilings are ten feet tall. Some ceilings are five feet tall. My ceiling is not. I do not like my ceiling. I don’t even like my job. My Tony Bennett does not care to lie down and take a nap. But every morning when I come to work, I open the door and say “Hi Tony!” to little Tony Bennett. His eyes are so beautiful, and his voice so golden, and then I can’t help it, I don’t work, I just sigh.