Monday, July 23, 2012

Did anybody know that there is a Floral Park, New York? There is. I know because someone from Floral Park, New York had a look at me today, while they were in Floral Park. New York, of course.


Right now it's resting, but it will awaken on Thursday, August 9th at 7:00 at FLYLEAF BOOKS in Chapel Hill, North Carolina. Come join it, won't you?

Saturday, July 21, 2012


I know, I know, I wonder what happened to her arm, too. Before she was in North Carolina, she was in the living room in Florida. But we never went into the living room in Florida, so I don't know what could have possibly happened to her arm. Before I wondered what happened to her arm, I wondered what her name was. Once she lost her arm, God knows how, I just decided to call her Madge. That seemed like a good name for a one-armed French bored lady.
The pool is empty all winter. Next year I am going to sit on the bottom of it until Memorial Day with my eyes closed. I can’t wait to see what if feels like when after an uneventful nine months, I am completely drench in pool-colored water. It will be very thrilling. But most of all I can’t wait for someone to say, “Don’t do that, it sounds terrible” and for me to reply, “Sorry, I have already decided.” But really, I have only decided to say that next year I am going to sit on the bottom of a pool. And that I will stay that way until Memorial Day. And that I will be drenched in pool-colored water. I say this every year. Please notice that I never say what year it is now, and what year next year will be - only that what I do will be thrilling on a Memorial Day. 


A doggie's face on a tee shirt?
It’s sublime! Somehow, though,
I feel as though we are committing
a terrible crime, and we might be,
sort of like when you visit a country
and you don’t know what is proper
until you are in jail for the rest of 
your life. But what is the crime? 
Thinking it? Making it? Buying it? 
It all comes back to dogs. In my heart, 
I fear those who love dogs more than those
who are dogs. And this fear, it isn’t at all sublime. 
It’s like a tee shirt with a dog on it. Only take away 
the dog and the fear. Imagine who’s to blame. Now 
what you have. It’s not a game. It’s sublime.

Thursday, July 19, 2012


A BUTTERSCOTCH READING will take place at 7:00 PM, August 9, 2012 at FLYLEAF BOOKS, Chapel Hill, North Carolina. Bring your butterscotch, and butterscotch attire.
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