Wednesday, January 12, 2011


I was looking through books about terrible things and decided not to read anything that was terrible but instead to look at the pictures about things that were terrible.

When I looked at MY LIFE IS RUINED, this is what I found:

a little chinese boy crying with a blue colored face

Marmite yeast extracted champagne (I think from England)

The New York Yankees

a muscular man with an ammo belt and rifle (maybe Fess Parker)

a smiley face frowning

a smiley face sticking its tongue out

Superman with his head sketched in without color

Scooby Doo and the Gang

a hammer hammering a nail tied in a knot

Garfield asleep on a pillow

Superman proper

a dog with red booties collapsing from the strain saying
“Why would they do this to me?”

a No Smoking Sign

Chattering Teeth

a cloud that says “You are forbidden to talk about it”

Many bicycles and one banana

Then I went over and looked at
There I found:

a cup of coffee, nice

the sphinx and a pyramid

a foot with six toes and pink toenail polish

a Hugo Boss salmon colored shirt with white stripes

Elton John

The Buddha

the word “Jess”

a smiley face

I kept going. I went to I CAN’T GO ON and found:

a cute puppy asleep on a couch

a man in a football helmet with binoculars
and a rifle in a canoe on a frozen lake in Canada

Tyrone Davis’ dance disco funk soul

a blue brassiere with white stars

a frowning owl

a carton of Marlboro Lights

a rose inside the New Testament with the Jesus parts in red

Don Johnson in Miami Vice

The Fanatics “I can’t go on” on Caped Crusader records

Sylvester Stallone in a black suit with a burgundy tie

a plate of beets and mozzarellla over polenta

3 million Samuel Becketts

no smiley faces

a spiral notebook that reads: “I’m sorry ... and I miss you”

Which was awful. So I looked at THIS IS THE END and guess what I found?

a screen that reads: EIN FRITZ LANG FILM

“Buddy Guy Can’t Quit The Blues”

grizzled prospectors on the trail after a long day

Newt Gingrich

William Shakespeare

a golf ball with a snail on it

King Arthur flour cinnamon swirl toast

a walrus in a beret

Hello Nuclear Kitty

white snowflake coconut cupcakes in aluminum foil

more Jim Morrisons than you can count, mostly skinny Jim Morrisons

David Beckham on his knees, weeping


the ivory colored corner of a baby’s room with blue trim

Finally I just said “Whatever.” And then I looked at
WHATEVER and smiled. Here’s what I found:

two tigers, playing in the snow

a panda bear snorting a frozen mountain
of cocaine

No comments:

Real Time Analytics