Wednesday, January 12, 2011

REALLY UNTITLED

I was looking through books about terrible things and decided not to read anything that was terrible but instead to look at the pictures about things that were terrible.

When I looked at MY LIFE IS RUINED, this is what I found:

a little chinese boy crying with a blue colored face

Marmite yeast extracted champagne (I think from England)

The New York Yankees

a muscular man with an ammo belt and rifle (maybe Fess Parker)

a smiley face frowning

a smiley face sticking its tongue out

Superman with his head sketched in without color

Scooby Doo and the Gang

a hammer hammering a nail tied in a knot

Garfield asleep on a pillow

Superman proper

a dog with red booties collapsing from the strain saying
“Why would they do this to me?”

a No Smoking Sign

Chattering Teeth

a cloud that says “You are forbidden to talk about it”

Many bicycles and one banana

Then I went over and looked at
I THINK I AM GOING TO KILL MYSELF.
There I found:

a cup of coffee, nice

the sphinx and a pyramid

a foot with six toes and pink toenail polish

a Hugo Boss salmon colored shirt with white stripes

Elton John

The Buddha

the word “Jess”

a smiley face

I kept going. I went to I CAN’T GO ON and found:

a cute puppy asleep on a couch

a man in a football helmet with binoculars
and a rifle in a canoe on a frozen lake in Canada

Tyrone Davis’ dance disco funk soul

a blue brassiere with white stars

a frowning owl

a carton of Marlboro Lights

a rose inside the New Testament with the Jesus parts in red

Don Johnson in Miami Vice

The Fanatics “I can’t go on” on Caped Crusader records

Sylvester Stallone in a black suit with a burgundy tie

a plate of beets and mozzarellla over polenta

3 million Samuel Becketts

no smiley faces

a spiral notebook that reads: “I’m sorry ... and I miss you”

Which was awful. So I looked at THIS IS THE END and guess what I found?

a screen that reads: EIN FRITZ LANG FILM

“Buddy Guy Can’t Quit The Blues”

grizzled prospectors on the trail after a long day

Newt Gingrich

William Shakespeare

a golf ball with a snail on it

King Arthur flour cinnamon swirl toast

a walrus in a beret

Hello Nuclear Kitty

white snowflake coconut cupcakes in aluminum foil

more Jim Morrisons than you can count, mostly skinny Jim Morrisons

David Beckham on his knees, weeping

SAW 3-D

the ivory colored corner of a baby’s room with blue trim

Finally I just said “Whatever.” And then I looked at
WHATEVER and smiled. Here’s what I found:

two tigers, playing in the snow

a panda bear snorting a frozen mountain
of cocaine

No comments:

Real Time Analytics