DESSERT (from 1998)

once I went to
spain and
bought a post
card and sent
it. it read:
“I love spain
and I wish
you were
here.”
then, before
I did another
thing, I bought
a big bag of
spanish fruit
and I got in
to a very big
boat and
sailed across
the english
channel all
the way to
england,
which is a
beautiful
country, too.

and then,
before I said
a single word
to anybody
at all, I bought
a beautiful
post card
of english
sunsets and
wrote this on
the postcard:

“england is
my favorite
country in the
world except
spain. I wish
you were here,
too!” I put an
english stamp
on it and said
“thank you”
to the english
postman who
took it from me
and promised
me that he
would mail it
right away.
and so I thought
to myself, “I
must find
myself a nice
place to stay
in england”
but before I
could even
think a single
thing I reme
mbered that
I hadn’t
addressed my
spanish
postcard to
anybody. and
then I thought,
“but I must
find a nice
place to stay,”
and then I
remembered
that I hadn’t
addressed
my english
postcard to
anybody. I
liked england
and spain
best of all,
and so I
bought a
bag of flour
and with
my english
flour and with
my spanish
fruit I found
a place to
stay in
england and
then a nice
place to stay
in spain where
I put on a wed
ding ring and
set straight away
to make a real
nice plum
pudding and
didn’t write a
single post
card ever again.