I USED TO HAVE A LOT OF QUESTIONS ABOUT PRINCE VALIANT BACK IN 1940, BUT I DON'T HAVE AS MANY NOW

I used to wonder why he wore so much lipstick. And why his hair was white on the inside, and black on the outside, like a vanilla cake with chocolate frosting. I also used to wonder about the breastplate, which didn't seem like it would offer much protection. I sometimes wondered if it was just a good luck charm–but since when do princes, especially valiant ones, need good luck? I never wondered about his Anton Chigurh haircut, because, after all, it was 1940. I did wonder a little about his Moe Howard haircut, though. And that big pink medal behind him. He must have been really good at something to win a medal that big. I don't think it is hand puppets, I mean, a medal for hand puppets, because I don't think that looks like a very good hand puppet – it's just white and lumpy and frankly it looks a little strange. If Jonathan were around, he would laugh and say: "Sorry, Gent – that's no hand puppet! Ho Ho HO!" Richard Dreyfuss would say: "This was no boating accident" while Rosey would say, "Nature, Mr. Allnut, is what man was put on earth to rise above." If it were another time and place, I might say: "Why is Hurta slumbering, in what would appear to be a pink gondola, her hair like fiery serpents?" But that time and place would have to be now. All the other ones? I can't speak to them. I just believe in holograms. I mean, now is the only time and place I know.

all artwork, including monsters but not old timey photographs,
® mr. crispy flotilla, 2007