CARAMEL DELITES

The Caramel Delite is a cookie made by Girl Scouts.

Some people think that Girl Scouts live in lush forests

and on mountain tops and near babbling brooks and

in the warm glades of summer but that’s not true. 

The Caramel Delite cookie is 60 calories. That is an

approximate caloric value and will not hold up in a 

court of law or may not be printed in an encyclopedia

or in a weekly newspaper or reputable periodical 

without fear of rebuttal or dissent, because it is an 

approximate value, e.g.: “Your uniform is forest 

green.” Well, what is forest green, anyway? I have 

seen many forests, in my day, oh, so many forests,

and I cannot answer this question. Let’s just say 

green and let’s just say some calories or other.

Oh so many forests. William Wordsworth.

The Caramel Delite contains coconut and whey. 

This is extremely important information if you

like food from Thailand or stringy things in your

throat insofar as we are discussing coconut presently. 

With regard to whey, no one truly knows what ‘whey’ is–

some people think it is pronounced like this: why, as in: 

Why, God? Why? My God, why? She was so young!

Why?

The Caramel Delite is made by the Little Brownie

Bakers. I find that offensive. Other things I find

offensive: things that are little and things that are

brown and babbling brooks and knapsacks and 

canteens and pocket knives and people who sashay 

into rooms that you bake.

The Caramel Delite was once called The Samoa, 

a mantle plume of monsoonal temperament,

vulcanized. 

The Caramel Delite was named after Samoa 

because of their large automotive wire harness 

factories, as well as the indigenous Samoan ‘Siva 

Dance’, with its uniquely gentle pulsating movements 

of the body pressed in time to music and which tells 

a story, one that often includes coconuts and the sensation 

of slapping a mosquito on the body as the rain fills the sky.

The Samoa was made by the ABC Bakery. 

That is a fact that always makes me weep

profusely as one might were one to have

a wild dog beneath one’s skirt. Here, have 

a cookie. Mmm. That’s good. That’s fine.