RANDOM RICKIES

I did a little, and then I thought: what if I did a lot? Then I thought, it is just the Isaiah Zagar documentary talking to me, in soft, quiet tones that I shouldn't probably pay any attention to.

A is for the grade that I give to the man that we call Swayze – Patrick Swayze to be specific! • Exeunt Omni: Let’s leave our shoes out here by the stoop let them cool and dry in the buttery night air rich and moist with death • My parents loved me a lot but they didn’t particularly fancy any of the following people listed below and in alphabetical order: David Brubeck / David Eisenhower / David Hasselhoff / King David (of Israel) / David Herbert Lawrence / David Lee Roth / Sam & David • And just because something makes no sense to you, there’s no reason on God’s Green Earth not to care for it with love and joy, even if you don’t know why • For if I continue, I will be rich with sorrow, for grammarians scarcely laugh at all, and tend to die of broken hearts, not train wrecks • My love progresses from childhood to maturity, with the flick of a switch. A light switch I mean – not a thing you hit children with, or horses • Dennis Weaver is eager to give up his ‘gentle man of the earth’ McCloud when he gets the chance to beat up his TV wife Sally Struthers in the TV movie, BATTERED. “Sally wants realism. So do I. It should be interesting”: PG. 4 • For it brings out the luster and sensual, almost hyperkenetic flavor of the taut, golden, continental and silky pre-depression abandoned and somewhat naughty and perhaps even nymphomanical or at the very least sluttish cinemagraphic flavors of the corn that protect us from the entire universe • The Wine Blows Softly AgainstThe Prostitute: I thought I would have a lot more to say about this, but now that I have said it, there is precious little more to say • When I broke up with Christie my hair was in little ringlets like Marie Antoinette. It’s astounding that I broke up with Christie and that she didn’t break up with me because of my little ringlets • How many things have been written about Elvis? Millions, right? But do they ever mention what a fine fastball pitcher he was? In all the excitement, it seems to be forgotten • Because I always thought that’s what you like best about me, my lying, my unusual choices, the sound of the Neal Hefti Orchestra that follows us wherever we go • Falling in love at 18 can therefore be what we call a quick study: a conversation, perhaps two, and BINGO! Love is there just like when that guy yells BINGO! and you win something that you think that you want, even if you saw it somewhere else and said, “Man, I don’t want that” • Something either is, or isn’t. It’s called the ‘Domino Effect’ where a line is drawn in the sand by a girl named Sandy • I have only one answer to everything, and that is to do a handstand. When someone asks if I would like a receipt, I of course do a handstand • Today I wondered if I am just about the only person who didn’t know that Bela Lugosi was buried in his Dracula cloak • The man at the pizza parlor always smiles and acts like he knows me. I don’t mind. I like garlic, it is cold outside. Next! • Whenever I am in a large crowd, I always imagine someone will come out of the crowd and take me by the hand and say: “I am here to take you home.” Sometimes it is a man who is well-dressed. Sometimes it is a woman who is well-dressed. Sometimes I can’t tell if it is a man or a woman and whether or not he or she is or is not well-dressed. Once I have a photograph of me with a boa constrictor: this is what I would like to do: Have another photograph taken of me and a boa constrictor • That’s what I like about François–he does not scream. And yet he does walk towards me, always in a Françoisish sort of way. Did you ever know a François that didn’t? • Why again did we come to the New World? • I read a book shaped like a pillow the color of a cherry When people say “You look like a cherry” I say, “You must be talking about my book.”