ONE PLAY IN FOUR SHORT ACTS
ACT I:
two gentlemen, at a bar
A: I took the liberty of ordering you a Cointreau.
B: That was very kind of you.
A: I wonder something ...
B: What?
A: I wonder, perhaps, if you know how to spell ‘Cointreau’?
B: ...
A: ...as I suspected
B: I wish you would be hit by a truck and die.
exeunt
ACT II
two gentlemen somewhere–their names are unknown
A: James?
B: Yes?
A: Is that you?
B: Why do you think I said ‘Yes’?
A: Honestly, I do not know.
exeunt
ACT III
two men, one of whom hasn’t seen the other since Brazil
A: Henri – I haven’t seen you since Brazil!
B: Sí.
A: Do you remember the little mustachioed bus driver with the tiny little mustache?
B: The one who drove the bus down the ravine and the flames licked the bus until they reached the gasoline and the entire bus exploded?
A: Yes
B: Ah.
A: That was a long time ago.
B: It certain was.
B: Ah, yes.
A: How long ago, exactly, was it?
B: It was, approximately, 80 years ago.
A: I imagine then, the bus driver is dead by now.
B: I believe so. I believe that he died at the time.
A: The flames and gasoline?
B: Yes.
A: Hmmm.
B: Then why are we still alive?
A: I don't know. Let’s write letters to our friends.
B: Would that be appropriate under the circumstances?
A: Good question.
B: ?
A: Perhaps we could write letters to our imaginary friends.
B: OK.
exeunt
ACT IV
two gentlemen, perhaps three, and a photograph of a palm tree
A: I found a picture of you hugging a palm tree.
B: Do you love me?
A: You were hugging it real tight like!
B: Do you love me?
A: Ask me again.
B: Do you love me?
A: Pardon me?
B: Love me?
A: Let me tell you some of the things that I love:
I love palm trees.
I love hugging.
Look at you in that picture!
C: What about him?
B: Who is that??
A: That’s C. Hi ya, C!
C: Hello.
A: Can you stand very still and pretend that you are hugging a palm tree?
C: That I can.
A) I do love this life!
B: I believe that I do not love this life.
exeunt omni
two gentlemen, at a bar
A: I took the liberty of ordering you a Cointreau.
B: That was very kind of you.
A: I wonder something ...
B: What?
A: I wonder, perhaps, if you know how to spell ‘Cointreau’?
B: ...
A: ...as I suspected
B: I wish you would be hit by a truck and die.
exeunt
ACT II
two gentlemen somewhere–their names are unknown
A: James?
B: Yes?
A: Is that you?
B: Why do you think I said ‘Yes’?
A: Honestly, I do not know.
exeunt
ACT III
two men, one of whom hasn’t seen the other since Brazil
A: Henri – I haven’t seen you since Brazil!
B: Sí.
A: Do you remember the little mustachioed bus driver with the tiny little mustache?
B: The one who drove the bus down the ravine and the flames licked the bus until they reached the gasoline and the entire bus exploded?
A: Yes
B: Ah.
A: That was a long time ago.
B: It certain was.
B: Ah, yes.
A: How long ago, exactly, was it?
B: It was, approximately, 80 years ago.
A: I imagine then, the bus driver is dead by now.
B: I believe so. I believe that he died at the time.
A: The flames and gasoline?
B: Yes.
A: Hmmm.
B: Then why are we still alive?
A: I don't know. Let’s write letters to our friends.
B: Would that be appropriate under the circumstances?
A: Good question.
B: ?
A: Perhaps we could write letters to our imaginary friends.
B: OK.
exeunt
ACT IV
two gentlemen, perhaps three, and a photograph of a palm tree
A: I found a picture of you hugging a palm tree.
B: Do you love me?
A: You were hugging it real tight like!
B: Do you love me?
A: Ask me again.
B: Do you love me?
A: Pardon me?
B: Love me?
A: Let me tell you some of the things that I love:
I love palm trees.
I love hugging.
Look at you in that picture!
C: What about him?
B: Who is that??
A: That’s C. Hi ya, C!
C: Hello.
A: Can you stand very still and pretend that you are hugging a palm tree?
C: That I can.
A) I do love this life!
B: I believe that I do not love this life.
exeunt omni
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