FRIDAY

Today stocks slid on gloomy news.

Today I was discouraged to discover that Jello Instant Pudding isn’t really instant. It takes two minutes of whisking before anything happens at all. After two minutes, I usually get a pain in my right pectoral muscle if I use my right whisking hand to whisk, but at least by then it is rich and creamy and delicious chocolate pudding.

Today I almost said vampire actor Bela Lugosi when I meant to say House Speaker Nancy Pelosi.

I made that last one up today.

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