LYDIA PART ONE

If Lydia Davis thinks the distance from New York to London
is 15,000 miles, then so do I. Still, the distance between
London and New York is a much more reasonable 3,471
miles. This is why most people who want to vacation travel
from London to New York rather than New York to London.
Even the wind does not help in this case, as it generally travels
from South to North, which is why so many people in America
like to take vacations in the North Pole, and why so many
Americans are often stranded in the North Pole. People even,
you know, die in the North Pole, because the wind is so ferocious
and how can you possibly tell until it is again’ you until you decide
to go back home and you discover that it is again' you. And it is most
terrible when people from London die in the North Pole, thinking
that they could have just vacationed in New York, which
is so much closer and less windy than the North Pole with
so very many more things to do. People from New York, however,
are generally happy and never die. London is too far away for a
real vacation, the North Pole they realize is far too windy for a nice
vacation, and they have become accustomed to having vacations in
their minds to places that are so beautiful that it is almost impossible
to think about or even pronounce their names, and this is what makes
them immortal.