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READING LUCRETIUS

PAT BOONE AT THIRTEEN

THE SECOND ANNUAL CRISPIES: my favorite moments of inspiration: 2011 (#1)

THE SECOND ANNUAL CRISPIES: my favorite moments of inspiration: 2011 (#2)

THE SECOND ANNUAL CRISPIES: my favorite moments of inspiration: 2011 (#3)

THE SECOND ANNUAL CRISPIES: my favorite moments of inspiration: 2011 (#4)

THE SECOND ANNUAL CRISPIES: my favorite moments of inspiration: 2011 (#5)

THE SECOND ANNUAL CRISPIES: my favorite moments of inspiration: 2011 (#6)

THE SECOND ANNUAL CRISPIES: my favorite moments of inspiration: 2011 (#7)

THE SECOND ANNUAL CRISPIES: my favorite moments of inspiration: 2011 (#8)

THE SECOND ANNUAL CRISPIES: my favorite moments of inspiration: 2011 (#9)

THE SECOND ANNUAL CRISPIES: my favorite moments of inspiration: 2011 (#10)

SUNDAY

GUIDELINES

PEQUOT PERCALES: NO LONGER AVAILABLE IN FINE STORES EVERYWHERE

COLOGNE OF THE GREATS

FACE

PLAIN AND PEANUT

TERRY AND TOM

EDITORIAL

A REVEAL

THIS DISHWASHER

HERE ARE THE DIFFERENT WAYS YOU CAN SPELL "HELP"

LEGACY

FILL IN THE BLANK:

DEAR MARGARET TATE

8 SMALL, SHORT POEMS

DON'T BOTHER TO KNOCK

LOST SHAKESPEARE

PAINTER

THE CONFESSIONS OF RALPH

THE WAY OF ALL FLESH HALL OF MIRRORS by Samuel Butler

IT'S SEPTEMBER, AND AUGUST IS READY

HIDDEN DEEP INSIDE

THIS GUN FOR HIRE

MY LAZY PROSE, SLEEPING

IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE THERE, SAY "HOORAY!"

BRONSON!

BRIEF REVIEWS OF FILMS BY THE GUY WHO DID THE LIGHTBULB AND TRIED TO MAKE EVERYTHING OUT OF CEMENT (5)

BRIEF REVIEWS OF FILMS BY THE GUY WHO DID THE LIGHTBULB AND TRIED TO MAKE EVERYTHING OUT OF CEMENT (4)

BRIEF REVIEWS OF FILMS BY THE GUY WHO DID THE LIGHTBULB AND TRIED TO MAKE EVERYTHING OUT OF CEMENT (3)

BRIEF REVIEWS OF FILMS BY THE GUY WHO DID THE LIGHTBULB AND TRIED TO MAKE EVERYTHING OUT OF CEMENT (2)

BRIEF REVIEWS OF FILMS BY THE GUY WHO DID THE LIGHTBULB AND TRIED TO MAKE EVERYTHING OUT OF CEMENT (1)

THE BATMAN

PROBABLY NOT THE COVER, PROBABLY NOT A POEM IN IT

THE WAITER SAID...

MEMOIR: CHAPTER ONE

MY GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT

ADVICE

DON'T TELL HIM YET, BUT THIS IS WHAT HE IS GETTING FOR CHRISTMAS

LINES FROM A REALLY LONG POEM THAT I HAVEN'T DELETED YET

VACANT LOT

SOME ADVICE FOR PEOPLE WHOSE WORST PROBLEMS ARE ROBOTS

I NEVER TOLD THIS TO ANYONE BEFORE

HALF A MUSTACHE

LOST CEREALS

LOST CEREALS

LOST CEREALS

LOST CEREALS

MY ONLY THEORY

HEARTBREAK

MAKES ME HAPPY BUT THIS IS A LONG TIME AGO BUT STILL IT MAKES ME HAPPY

THE BRIDE AND GROOM TO-BE

REJECTED COVER FOR JULY

OPAL SAYS

I’M GOING TO BED

EVERYBODY LOVES TO KILL RICHARD WIDMARK

OR IS IT STATIONARY?

RELIEF

COMMAND MODULE

BALFOUR

SKA!

ANCIENT HISTORY

MALDITO

REPRINTED FROM JANUARY, 2007: R.I.P. GENE COLAN

PAGE ONE

NAMEOLOGY

AND I WILL SLEEP OUTSIDE among the CALLA LILIES

IT'S WHAT WE CALL IN THE BUSINESS A RAILROAD TRACK

I feel as though I have done this all my life

NAUGHTY INK

OH DEAD MAN

CRI DU CHAT

THE NUMBER OF TIMES I CAN LISTEN TO GRANDPA JONES SING "HOW MANY BISCUITS CAN YOU EAT THIS MORNING" WHILE ACCOMPANYING HIMSELF ON THE BANJO

NEW THEORY ABOUT THE MENTAL STATE OF CHARLES DICKENS WHILST ENGAGED IN THE WRITING OF DOMBEY & SON

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN JAMES BOND IN PRINT AND JAMES BOND ON THE SILVER SCREEN

TOOTHBRUSH XVI

AN OLD FRIEND