THE GOOD OLD DAYS

I love Caligula because decided not to invade Britain
but to conquer Neptune instead and so he did and
he brought back seashells as the spoils of war

I love Caligula when he chopped off the heads of
Olympic Gods statuary and threw the heads away
and put Caligula heads there instead

I love Caligula

when he told the Senate to
speak softly so they would
not wake up his horse

his manger was ivory
and he ate oats mixed
with flecks of gold

Wait don’t go
I almost forgot

I love Caligula

when he said
Longinus has a
longer penis
than I?

No, not anymore
he don't