MY GREATEST FEAR

I would hate hate hate to have blond hair and a black beard. Morever, I would hate being beat up because of my blond hair and black beard. That happens, you know. Hey Blondy! They say, and commence to fisticuffs. The black beard, at that time, is of course implicit.

Sometimes I wonder if Blackbeard, a truly ferocious pirate who hailed from, I believe, London or Jamaica or Philadelpha, had blond hair.

FUN FACT: people with blond hair and black beards fight terrifically well.

ADDITIONAL FUN FACT: people with white hair and black eyebrows sing in a lusty baritone, songs like, for example, ‘Ringo.’

A SADNESS: As I begin to gather in my mind’s eye the wisps of silver that grace my temples, I fall into a deep melancholia. It is too late in life to even imagine that someday I will, by nature’s hand, sport blond hair.

MORE GOOD NEWS: truthfully, though, the melancholia is pretty light. It just seems deep. Melancholia definitely gets better with age!



all artwork, including handsome monsters but not crinkly devilish types,
® mr. crispy flotilla, 2008