HELLO, IT'S ME said Todd Rundgren, father of Rex, in 1972

I couldn't decide between beads that looked like dice and beads that looked like anchors. The saleslady said that I would have to special order the beads that looked like anchors. "Isn't that just like an anchor!" I declared. I guess I should have said, "I have never been to the ocean" right afterwards because that way it would make sense that I said such a thing about an anchor, because, after all, having to special order an anchor in no way reflects the character of an anchor at all. Nor does an anchor, in any way, resemble a special order in general.

An anchor is made of iron, and is heavy, and if you twirl it around your head you could hurt someone, and, if you can twirl it around your head, you are very strong. Or the anchor is very small and perhaps you are not so strong. And there is a third possibility: the anchor is small and you are strong. In fact, this anchor really is pretty small compared to other anchors you have twirled. Oh, the anchors you have twirled.

Meanwhile, a special order is light, it's always light, almost as light as a feather, shaped like a piece of paper, with the texture and smooth, cool feel of paper, not iron and heavy, and it floats rather than sinks if placed in the ocean and it is filled with confusing numbers and lines and codes on it that only make sense to those who are in 'the know.'

When I think of being in 'the know' I think of certain gamblers and casino owners and Robert Oppenheimer and Dean Martin. Who do you think of?

I wonder about what happened to the boat that this twirling anchor at the end of your strong, steely arms was once attached to. I do wonder about that.

OK. I wanted to make a bead bracelet, and as quickly as possible. I want to go somewhere–that much is true. I think that I am now ready to go to Vegas–it's the only logical choice. It's time for a Dear Anchor letter. I am tired of the ocean and all its complex dangers. And let's face it–I do love a good pair of dice. Especially if they are black and white.