A POSTCARD FROM VIENNA: CRISPY CONDUCTS EINE KLEINE NACHTMUSIK, WITH UNFORTUNATE RESULTS

When I conducted a Viennese symphony orchestra recently, I got it all wrong and things went terribly bad. It was Eine Kleine Nachtmusik, and I just kept blowing it. Here’s why: I was a little depressed and distracted because of the world. And it got worse. That’s because 1st chair violinists do not have a lot of diplomatic skills. When I was thinking my sad thoughts and not paying much attention to Eine Kleine Nachtmusik, I started drifting a little and things got pretty loosey goosey and 1st violinist let me know it. And, being 1st chair and all, he’s kind of a big-man-on-campus kind of guy and so when he misbehaved everyone else got up and started misbehaving, too. “Frauline Olga! Not you, too!” I pleaded, a little crestfallen. I had always thought that if I could depend on anyone in this world, is was 2nd chair violinist Frauline Olga whose golden ringlets cascaded to her soft, rich white porcelain shoulders. But no, it was Frauline Olga, too.

Here’s a list of what was broken and on the floor after I blew it with Eine Kleine Nachtmusik:

1) 110 brown folding chairs

2) 20 or so china saucers that had been filled with rich, Viennese coffee

3) my feelings for golden ringlets that cascade to soft, rich white porcelain shoulders

4) the world

5) my heart


all artwork, except likenesses of Lyndon B. Johnson, by Crispy Flotilla ® 2006