Saturday, December 31, 2016

PHOTO AT FOUR

I just smiled and stepped out of the photo and did everything you can do at four until I was five and someone said: “It’s time to stop time again.”

Saturday, December 03, 2016



When Oliver Hardy kicked a football, it went down five flights of stairs and hit a man right in the head and his hair fell forward and he looked just like one of the Beatles! Although his hair was somewhat sandy, which reminded me more of the Beach Boys’ Dennis Wilson, and he was angry, because of the football, which reminds me of my great grandmother, Ignatia, who detested football in all its forms, mostly because, she hated everything, which makes me laugh now. Oh thank you Grandmommy, for making me laugh this rainy day in December! Although it isn’t raining yet. It probably really won’t. But sometimes you just get this feeling in your bones. I remember the Beach Boys said this in one of their songs. I forget who sang it – I think the dead one.



There was a swirly stripe on the tri-colored lollipop that I used to buy at the zoo that was the exact same color as the letter border on my bank portfolio from Delaware that arrived in the mail today even though I threw it in the trash compactor after I thought about it, once I looked at it, right before I got home and checked my bank balance.

Thursday, December 01, 2016

TO BEAT THE BAND


There’s a small barber shop in a small town in New York where it is almost impossible to get a shave. Men line up for hours in advance and stay there throughout the day waiting for a shave. When there are hurricanes, they hold onto street signs and cover themselves with sheets of plastic or canvas. When it snows, they wear warm mufflers and drink thermoses filled with hot cocoa. In the springtime, they enjoy the May blossoms but they are often sneezing and wheezing to beat the band. The summers, however, are perfectly fine. In this town, it never gets terribly hot in the summer, and so waiting for a shave can be a pleasant experience in July, or even August, particularly if there is someone next to you in line who is a good conversationalist and the thermos that you usually use for hot cocoa is filled with lemonade. Not brandy. But brandy can be nice when you are talking about the weather. Still –

Getting a shave when you are drunk is a terrible thing.

You should do it once in your life.

But not twice.

Once is classy.

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