Friday, June 29, 2007

BOOK NEWS: MY FAVORITE 12 PRESIDENTS IN THE WHOLE WORLD

DEAR READERS,

I am in the mid-stage of completion of another 101 Secret Wing Ding short-release book, MY FAVORITE TWELVE PRESIDENTS. This has all the greats, including my (#2) favorite, John Tyler. If you would like a copy of this when it is released, please send me a note with your address at this journal space. The first ten respondees will be eligible for the limited release director's cut, which includes the great William Taft. I guess that would make it 13. I mean, for a limited time only it would.

all artwork, including monsters but not old timey photographs,
® mr. crispy flotilla, 2007

Saturday, June 23, 2007

A CRISPY SUNDAY NIGHT AT THE MOVIES

Recently I watched ‘Marty’ for oh, about the 50th time. In ‘Marty’ Betsy Blair plays Ernest Borgnine’s (‘Marty’s) love interest: a chemistry teacher at a public school in Brooklyn. “I was never very good at chemistry,” Ernest Borgnine admits–which was true: I looked it up. In his third year at Hamden High School in Connecticut, Ernest Borgnine received a ‘C-’ in chemistry. And then he entered the US Navy. Betsy Blair, however, never took chemistry in her life! And she claims that she is a chemistry teacher at a small public high school in Brooklyn! I have always had trouble with this movie; love is supposed to be based on trust. On the other hand, it is difficult to study chemistry when you are married to–Gene Kelly! What finesse, what esprit de corps! Ah, An American in Paris! Singing in the Rain! It is as if his feet moved to a choreography by–God Almighty! I could watch Gene Kelly all night. Now Fred Astaire I could watch all day AND night. What charm, what politesse! His voice is silky smooth, and quite underrated. And the way he dances on the ceilings and with hat racks! Truly, a man without peer! Still, he broke his ankle on a skateboard when he was seventy. Growing old is terrible, and humorous. But I digress. What I am trying to say is: Betsy Blair was married to Gene Kelly but never to Fred Astaire, I believe in God Almighty, growing old is terrible and humorous, and did I mention that Ernest Borgnine was married to Ethel Mermann? Only for a month, though. That’s humorous. Or at least a humorous image. And oh: Betsy Blair was a liar. But that’s OK: she was married to Gene Kelly.

all artwork, including monsters but not old timey photographs,
® mr. crispy flotilla, 2007

Sunday, June 17, 2007

REFLECTIONS ON THINGS THAT I ADMIRE AND THINGS THAT I DARE NOT MENTION SHORTLY BEFORE DINNER, by CRISPY

UNTIL YOU HAVE SEEN THIS MAN IN ACTION, YOU HAVEN'T LIVED!


In the interest of full disclosure, I really don't know who this man is. The image, however, is called 'Butterbean Punch' and I can believe that. Actually, even though he looks pretty big, I am pretty sure that I would be really embarassed if I fell down after he hit me, * particularly if his name has something to do with butterbeans.


Honestly, I was just looking for a picture of the Grand Ole Opry. Sometimes it is nice to take the road not taken.


Once you have, however, it has been taken. And the next thing you know, you have to deal with a really scary guy whose punches are like butterbeans. And then you are saying, OK, what should I do now?


* I was going to remind my faithful readers of a way in which I hurt myself once on a slide that was really slippery but why bring this up, it would only make me relive the pain.


all artwork, including monsters but not old timey photographs,
® mr. crispy flotilla, 2007

MY NEW BOOK

My friend Pete recently said You looked depressed. Would you like a TV Guide? Sometimes he says this when I am looking a little down. Today was a special day in that regard (I mean, depression helpful-wise) because the TV Guide he was offering was from 1956 and featured the Grand Ole Opry. Pete said you should write a book about this TV Guide which I thought was a very good idea but I thought that it might be better to write a guide to that TV Guide. There is a lot to learn from such things. Why, for example, is the Grand Ole Opry not on the cover of the Grand Ole Opry TV Guide cover of 1956? The answer might depress you.

Other interesting observations:

Over 80% of celebrities on the
cover of TV Guide are smiling.















The vast percentage of those
who are not smiling have names
like Robert.


















Or Jack.















all artwork, including monsters but not old timey photographs,
® mr. crispy flotilla, 2007

BOOKMARKS


I have recently become interested in the production of bookmarks. Nothing fancy, mind you, but perhaps personalized in some small way. So far I haven't really done that at all. What I have done, though, is crop a number of existing photographs and drawings to the standard 2.5" x 7" bookmark format, suitable for use. By the way, I don't know if this is standard at all. It is my standard, though. Today it is. Something else I discovered through a young friend: blow up your artwork to 1600% and take a crop from that. Standard crop will work. Try that and see what you think.




all artwork, including monsters but not old timey photographs,® mr. crispy flotilla, 2007

Sunday, June 10, 2007

CRISPY VS. THE PENNY FARTHING

I learned an important lesson today. If you have to climb a bunch of stairs and you are out of breath because of it, make sure that once you reach the top floor that the coast is clear, i.e. there are no Belgian penny farthing road bike racers nearby. I was not cautious enough myself and ran right into one, right there at the top of the stairs, and right away she said why are you so out of breath and I explained that I had to climb three flights of stairs she said well last week I rode a hundred miles on my penny farthing in seven hours and that wasn't so bad so there. I started to cry and she said you know nobody cries in Belgium. I have never been to Belgium but if nobody cries there I bet there are no stairs there. It's a good bet too because there is no way to descend a flight of stairs successfully on a penny farthing I don't think. Ascend maybe if you have big muscles but descend no way. The End.


all artwork, including monsters but not old timey photographs,
® mr. crispy flotilla, 2007

MR. GELLY

Experimental likeness produced shortly after acquisition and ingestion of 1 oz. packet of Domino's Pizza ® Grated Parmesan Cheese w/ powdered cellulose added to prevent caking and trace amounts of titanium dioxide as a preservative.

I think it was the titanium that did it.

Usually, I really like titanium. Shiny and nice to ride.

There are some nice roads nearby to ride your bicycle on.


all artwork, including monsters but not old timey photographs,
® mr. crispy flotilla, 2007

FROM 'A COLLECTION OF MONSTERS,' 2007























all artwork, including monsters but not old timey photographs,
® mr. crispy flotilla, 2007
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